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31 August 2006 @ 07:13 pm
I'm excited about tonight but dreading tomorrow. Going up to gameworks to hang with Shivu and co. but it's gonna be late and I know tomorrow will be rough. Perhaps I'm just mixed up.

We saw granpda today and he looks more like death every moment. They're (my aunts and the attorneys and hospice people) are pow-wowing this evening to determine what to take out, what to leave in. I hate waiting and I can't imagine anything worse than waiting for someone to die. At least I don't care so much, I don't even want to think about when I have to watch someone die whose death is more sad and not so much of a "phew, finally" thing. He looks so miserable, I keep thinking I want to explode at 60....forget all this infirmary.
And then to top it all off coworker guy came in tonight covered in hickeys. And the idea that he has someone to give them made a little tug in my stomach. I didn't think I cared. I had chosen to not care anymore. Why does it make my eyes sting and my head get all wibbly?

To top it all off, I'm having a fat day. I know I've been eating crap again lately but yeesh, none of my pants fit today. I brought leftover pizza for dinner but maybe I'll have a walk instead. Diet coke for dinner anyone?
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative